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Logan’s Birth Story

Motherhood

Logan’s Birth Story

Logan’s birth was anything but what we thought it would be. I knew I wanted to blog about this, so I searched back in my Facebook posts in order to be able to remember all the details I wrote about almost four years ago now. And honestly, I really didn’t expect it to hit me as hard as it did. Reading back through it, watching my big, healthy boy eat his lunch across from me was so, so emotional. I am so grateful he is safe and healthy now

Logan was a week overdue, so on Wednesday morning, August 30, 2017, we packed up the car, told our dogs bye, and headed to the hospital. We were early so we stopped to eat at the only place open- IHOP. I’ll never forget our waitress who was just as excited as we were when told her where we were headed. It was an awesome breakfast and I think I will remember it forever. 

We arrived at the hospital where I was admitted and hooked up to Pitocin to start contractions. It worked fine. I progressed, got my epidural, and then my doctor broke my water. My labors go extremely fast once my water is broken so Logan was born in two pushes very soon after. 

But this is where things started to go down hill. I didn’t notice, but my blood pressure had began to rise near the end of labor. My nurse, BLESS HER, started telling my doctor something seemed off. They ultimately contributed it to being in pain, but I was in zero pain. My epidural was perfect and I barely felt any pressure. But, it was soon pretty clear it wasn’t pain. My family had been waiting ALL day to meet their first grandson, so as they were all visiting, I started to notice I didn’t feel right. About this time, Charles sent our godson who was 14 at the time a picture and he looked at it and said, “something is wrong with her.” It still gives me chills knowing he called it minutes before I crashed. I thought I was feeling exhausted from delivery so I handed Charles Logan saying I was feeling really weak. I was scared I was going to drop him. My arms felt like they couldn’t even move to hold him. And then I don’t remember much of anything for several days. 

We found out I had postpartum preeclampsia. The next day my labs showed it had escalated into HELLP Syndrome- a very rare, more severe form of preeclampsia that involves low platelet counts and elevated liver enzymes (liver damage.) After the initial diagnosis I was hooked to a Magnesium Sulfate drip, and once I was diagnosed with HELLP, I had to stay on it for 24 hours. My husband is a cardiac surgery nurse, so when my labs returned confirming HELLP, his face terrified me. HELLP can be very deadly for Moms. And while I don’t remember a lot during that time, I do remember his face. We were both terrified. The first night on the Mag Drip, I kept telling the nurses I had to go to the bathroom. She refused to help me off the bed and due to the magnesium I couldn’t move myself. Labor was less painful than what I was experiencing now. Charles was able to press on my bladder so I could use the bathroom, but it wasn’t removing enough. I was still in excruciating pain. He finally demanded they scan my bladder and it showed a liter of urine. Not only was I dealing with HELLP Syndrome, the nurse almost allowed my bladder to rupture. Surviving a surgery for a ruptured bladder all while being on a magnesium drip would have been difficult. My doctor was livid when she arrived. I had been begging my nurse to call her because I was in so much pain and she told me she had. She hadn’t. 

During this whole time, I could not care for Logan as it is a very potent medication and I was not allowed to even hold him unless someone else was awake and present in the room. 

Charles was left to care for our new baby and worry about his very sick wife. He was a complete rockstar. I can’t even tell you how amazing he was. Obviously, he couldn’t do it totally alone–our family stepped in to help and they will never know how grateful we are. 

After I was allowed off the Mag Drip, I got to hold Logan, unsupervised, all I wanted. I fed him, got up with him at night, and enjoyed every single minute. 

It was at this point I decided to try and breastfeed. Unfortunately, my body refused. I literally pumped blood for days. Finally, my milk came in, but I was very uneducated about breastfeeding and our journey didn’t last long. But, our formula feeding journey was beautiful too and I was just grateful for my healthy and safe family.

Logan, thank you for making me a Mama. The joy of being first time parents is something indescribable. The two years it was just us four (can’t forget our biggest boy) are some of my favorite years ever. You were our travel companion and the easiest, sweetest baby. You will never know how much I adore you and how grateful we are God gave us you. I love you my sweet, big boy. 

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